Situationships are a new type of relationship that has been defined in lay literature as an unconventional relationship, involving noncommittal dating (Van Epp, 2023) and/or a sexually empowering experience (Kuburic, 2021). A consistent theme in situationships is that they tend to be described as having physical intimacy and emotional intimacy throughout the relationship, with varying or low levels of commitment (Battle, 2023). Situationships are characterized by spending time together, engaging in physical and sexual activities, but without clear labels or commitments. The lack of exclusivity is what makes it unique.
Langlais et al. (2024) Define situationship as: “A situationship is a relationship with someone in which there is a romantic connection, often involving time spent together, affection, and sexual behaviors, but no clarity or label.”
It’s important to note that some people may also refer to this as casual dating, however, the two are slightly difference. Read our article on casual dating to see how it’s different from situationship.
This type of relationship dynamic can be explained using the Sternberg’s (1986) Triangular Theory of Love as a guide, there is passion and intimacy, but no commitment, which represents romantic love. However, Sternberg (1987) argues that romantic love evolves over time, as passion declines and commitment increases. Situationships may be a relationship type where romantic love is stagnant. In these cases, an individual may (or may not) want the relationship to evolve into a committed relationship.
Situationship vs. Traditional committed Relationships
Langlais et al. (2024) found the following difference between situationship and other forms of traditional commitment-based traditional relationships:
Relationship Formation: Situationships vs. Non-Situationships
Situationships and non-situationships (i.e., traditional committed relationships) are similar in their formation. Both types of relationships often begin through mutual connections, such as meeting at work, school, or through friends, and occasionally at social gatherings like clubs and parties. The main difference was that situationships were more likely to form in settings where casual, non-committed interactions were emphasized, such as nightlife events. Despite these differences, both relationship types involve initial romantic connections, often driven by physical and emotional attraction.
Maintaining a Situationship: Effort and Boundaries
Maintaining a situationship typically involves casual interaction, such as hanging out together, communicating over the phone or on social media, and engaging in physical intimacy. Unlike more formal relationships, situationships tend to lack public displays of commitment like introducing each other to family or posting on social media. People in situationships often avoid defining their relationship status, a behavior that reflects the avoidance of commitment.
In contrast, committed relationships tend to be more formalized, with partners engaging in exclusive behaviors, including public interactions, meeting families, and planning for the future. These behaviors are associated with higher levels of commitment and help maintain the relationship over time. In situationships, however, these actions are minimized or avoided altogether, as commitment is not a priority.
Dissolution of Situationships vs. Traditional Relationships
Situationships and traditional relationships also differ significantly in how they end. Both types of relationships may face challenges such as distance, infidelity, or misalignment of expectations, leading to dissolution. However, situationships are more likely to end when one party desires a committed relationship while the other does not. This lack of alignment in commitment often results in one person walking away from the situationship when the other party expresses a desire for exclusivity or labels the relationship.
On the other hand, committed relationships typically end through more formal processes, such as open discussions or mutual agreements. The breakup may be initiated by a direct conversation, often reflecting the more established commitment between the individuals involved. Situationships, due to the lack of a defined commitment, tend to end more informally, often fading away without much discussion or resolution.
Comparison of Situationsip with Other Relationship Types
Situationships differ from other types of relationships, such as hookups, friends-with-benefits, and on-again-off-again relationships, in several ways:
- Hookups: Typically characterized by sexual intimacy without emotional connection, they represent fatuous love, which involves high passion but little intimacy or commitment.
- Friends-with-benefits: These relationships involve friends who engage in sexual intimacy without romantic commitment, representing infatuation. Situationships, however, often involve romantic interest and emotional connection, but the lack of commitment sets them apart from friends-with-benefits.
- One-sided relationships: In these cases, one person is emotionally more invested than the other. While a situationship can sometimes be one-sided, this is not always the case, as both individuals often share similar emotional investments, though this requires further research.
- On-again-off-again relationships: These relationships are marked by cycles of getting together and breaking up. Situationships differ because they are not typically characterized by this kind of inconsistency, although they can evolve into more committed relationships.
The Impact of Situationships on Relationship Quality
The study found that individuals in situationships reported lower relationship quality compared to those in committed relationships. This suggests that while situationships may offer emotional and physical intimacy, the lack of commitment can lead to feelings of uncertainty and dissatisfaction. As such, it is recommended that individuals either avoid situationships or seek ways to clarify their relationship status and commitment levels if both partners are invested in making the relationship work.
Recommendations for Healthy Situationships
To foster healthier situationship relationship, it is important for individuals involved in it to communicate openly about their intentions and desires for commitment. Setting clear expectations can help avoid misunderstandings and ensure that both partners are on the same page. Additionally, it is recommended that individuals approach relationships with the goal of forming committed, exclusive bonds to enhance relationship satisfaction and prevent the emotional turmoil that often accompanies unclear relationships.
References:
Van Epp, J. (2023, November 20). Situationships: Stuck in transition, part 1. Institute for Family Studies. https://ifstudies.org/blog/situationships-stuck-in-transition-part-1.
Battle, M. (2023, March 18). Situationships Are the Future of Dating. That’s Not a Bad Thing. Time. https://time.com/6263743/situationships-dating-benefits/.
Kuburic, S. (2021). December 8). What is a situationship? And how to avoid being in one. USA Todayhttps://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2021/12/08/ situationship-defined-relationships/6416446001/?gnt-cfr=1.
Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93(2), 119–135. https://doi. org/10.1037/0033-295X.93.2.119.
Langlais, M., Podberesky, A., Toohey, L. et al. Defining and Describing Situationships: An Exploratory Investigation. Sexuality & Culture 28, 1831–1857 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-024-10210-6
